This is post number two of the “Planning your International Wedding 101 Guide” and I consider it to be one of the most important tips EVER when it comes to planning your big day! Just keep on reading and you’ll agree. Unless, you haven’t read the first post yet. In that case click here.
So, after you have figured out paper work (click here for an entire post on this), it is time for something much more fun: decide who to invite to your wedding!
No, you don’t need to have a final list yet. But, you do need to have a… let’s call it a paramount guest list. Who are the people you cherish the most and can’t even think of not inviting? Who were the first ones you called to share the news of your engagement? Oh! Is it still a secret? So, let’s try something fun.
Close your eyes and picture your perfect, dream-wedding day. You look your best. You are excited and relaxed. All the details you planned fell into place. Everybody surrounding you exhales good vibes. Apart from the deep, passionate love you feel for your spouse-to-be, your soul is also over-joyed with feelings of loving kindness that connect you with your guests. Look at their faces and their smiles, their cheers of joy. Now open your eyes and tell me: whom did you see? THIS is your paramount guest list.
Why is it important to make a Paramount Guest List when planning your international wedding?
Now you might be wondering, “why is this even important right now? Guest lists always change anyway! And I have so many details to think of(dress, tux, cake, car, invites)”. Let me explain you why: the paramount guest list is paramount because it defines so much about your wedding. I would even risk saying it is the thing that defines the kind of wedding you are going to have. Especially, if it is an international wedding. Bear with me.
Maybe, when you visualized your dream wedding, there were the only two of you there. You simply don’t need anyone else. In fact, you think a wedding ceremony is too personal and private to be witnessed. That means that you won’t need to worry about invitations, guests. You can have a ceremony at the city hall next week and then a party of two on your favorite hotel. Or you can elope and get married in Vegas and party hard at a casino just after. Or you can hire a photographer, go to your favorite beach and have a super private ceremony and then swim on your dresses to celebrate. You can even get married in privacy and then send a note to your favorite people on your new civil status and even plan a picnic in each of your countries to celebrate with your friends. It is all up to you!
Maybe you dream of a wedding with no other people then your immediate family members. Well… then it is not up to you only. Maybe your mother is so scared to fly that the only option is to have your wedding at your hometown or somewhere close by. Maybe your better half’s sweet grandfather is to week to take a long trip? Maybe you all are super healthy, love adventures and you decide to get married in a neutral country with a week long party for the family in an exclusive boutique hotel in the mountains?
There is also the chance that, more than your family, you would also need some few friends there. And perhaps one or two of your favorite people cannot afford the trip. What will you do? Will you maybe include their travel expenses on your wedding budget? Or maybe you will decide to have the party somewhere everyone can go.
Your paramount guest list will also help you decide on your wedding date, like it happened to me. I really wanted my father to be present. And he is a busy, workaholic lawyer who ever takes time off. So, we held our Danish wedding right after New Year’s Eve, when Brazilian courts were still on recess and, my father could come :)
Finally, what if both of you have tons of friends who are an integral part of your life? And a really big family, without whom, your wedding party wouldn’t make any sense? This may mean having to postpone the wedding date to save enough to gather the entire gang and be blessed by
In our case, we did have many friends and family members we would like to be there. Initially, we would make a big party in Brazil only. But we realized it would be very difficult from many of our friends around Europe to fly there. So, we ended up having a very cosy and nice brunch after our civil wedding in Copenhagen and a big party, after our spiritual ceremony in Brazil two months later. I don’t think we could have made a better decision!
What about you? What are your plans? Was this post useful? What else would you like to know about planning an international wedding? Please let me know on the comments below.
The gorgeous photo is the work of Duo Borgato Boutique Fotográfica.